Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
