I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
