Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
