So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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