You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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