But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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