Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
