Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize