I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
