sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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