we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
