Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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