3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
