i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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