Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
