Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I think my moral compass just broke
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
