2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize