I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize