12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
