It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Soap is not a condiment
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
