Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
false alarm. still invincible.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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