No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
