its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize
