There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize