So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
