Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
