so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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