just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
