I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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