I think I can smell my own vagina right now
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
