No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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