I hate all girls vehemently.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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