you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
