While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
