jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
