So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
