Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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