VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
