I heard we made out
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Actions speak louder than pants.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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