I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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