Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize