I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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