dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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