We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
