I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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