He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
