And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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