i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
