I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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