just come out here and I will go home with you...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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