i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
