i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
