The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
