Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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