I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I have so many feelings about this burrito
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize