i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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