dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I lost the right to judge tonight
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
