The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
