Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
