I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
