He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
