Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
