erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
