hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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