This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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