Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize