Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
