I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize