3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he thought i was a dude.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
